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"Abandonment experiences and boundary violations are in no way indictments of a child’s innate goodness and value. Instead, they reveal the flawed thinking, false beliefs, and impaired behaviors of those who hurt them. Still, the wounds are struck deep in their young hearts and minds, and the very real pain can still be felt today. The causes of emotional injury need to be understood and accepted so they can heal. Until that occurs, the pain will stay with them, becoming a driving force in their adult lives."

The first step to solving a problem is admitting that the problem exists. But you’re my problem. Or was I yours? Have you, at some point, went to sleep thinking of me? Have you, at some point, regretted that you ever left? No, I don’t need you now. These 20 years have been a concrete proof. But will I ever have closure to the most profound question of my life; why did you leave? Why did you gave up?

"Abandonment experiences and boundary violations are in no way indictments of a child’s innate goodness and value. Instead, they reveal the flawed thinking, false beliefs, and impaired behaviors of those who hurt them. Still, the wounds are struck deep in their young hearts and minds, and the very real pain can still be felt today. The causes of emotional injury need to be understood and accepted so they can heal. Until that occurs, the pain will stay with them, becoming a driving force in their adult lives."

The first step to solving a problem is admitting that the problem exists. But you’re my problem. Or was I yours? Have you, at some point, went to sleep thinking of me? Have you, at some point, regretted that you ever left? No, I don’t need you now. These 20 years have been a concrete proof. But will I ever have closure to the most profound question of my life; why did you leave? Why did you gave up?

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"One glance at a book and you hear the voice of another person, perhaps someone dead for 1,000 years. To read is to voyage through time."

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Carl Sagan 

Everything you love is here

(via lovequotesrus)

(via lovequotesrus)

Source: onerouscognition
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askaboutnikki:

the woman i am
the woman im gonna raise my daughter to be

(via whenpicturetalks)

Source: piratequaintrelle
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freakzter:

morstanlies:

all i want to do is learn stuff and not have compulsory tests on it

like

i love learning new stuff

and reading new books

but when i stress myself out to the point where i’m crying because of exams

that kinda takes the fun out of it

do you feel me

when i was a kid i skipped school a lot and people thought i was a bad kid playing hookey at the mall but in reality i was just going to the public library

(via thefuuuucomics)

Source: morstanlies
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If I was a singer, I’d wrote a song for you. If I was a writer, I’d wrote a book about you. I used to think that I wanted the answers. There were thousands of questions just spinning in my tiny little head, I was 5. I never quite understood why you were gone. Why you left.

When I was in primary school, I dreamt that perhaps one day, just once, I’d come back from school with you waiting at the school gate. UPSR ended, I got 5As, I wanted to tell you I scored and wanted you to be proud of me, but you were never there. Not even a voice at the end of the telephone. No, it never rang. So I thought maybe you were too busy, or maybe you’d forgotten about me. I still remember the day you first took me to the beach. I was a year or two and I was scared of the water. I remembered how I tried waking you from your sleep, I needed to go to the loo. But you were so deep in your slumber I had to climb down the bed myself. I was 3, I think. It was amazing how I could recall things that occured when I was a year. Such strong memory I had. But the downside of it was that I remembered when you were here. I remembered having you. But now, you’re nowhere to be found. I guess it would be better if I couldn’t remember you at all.

As I entered my teenage years, those questions and queries turned into complex emotions I could never shake off; I was angry & betrayal and felt betrayed. How did it feel knowing a part of you exists thousands of miles away? Breathing, living. Maybe laughing maybe crying. Or did you not think of me at all? PMR ended, again I scored. And again, you weren’t there.

School was soon over and I entered my young adult, still not having you. But it didn’t matter anymore. I stopped hoping, I stopped expecting. And slowly, I stopped thinking about you. Just as you did to me many years ago. Come to think of it, I didn’t need you. I was blessed with a better one.

You know what sucked? I was with your daughter, having dinner. Finally seeing a face I’ve missed for decades. And you phoned her, asking her to come home. As if I was some random stranger she was on a date with. It broke my heart to pieces. As Eminem put it in his song Headlights, “I guess we are who we are.” I’m 23 now. And I only have this to say to you; Don’t come back. Stay there, wherever you are. Know that when I have a family of my own, beautiful sons and daughters of mine, I’ll be the man you never were. I’ll never spend a moment away from them. Happy or sad, sunny or rainy, we’ll face them together. I’ll be there for their first smiles, first words, first laughs, and even first tears. The day they make their first steps, it’ll be towards me. One step they make and I’ll come running towards them. My little precious babies, how can I ever spend a second away? And maybe one day the telephone will finally ring, a soft, shaken voice at the end of the line saying,”he’s gone.” I’ll know the telephone will never ring with your voice, there will never be that knock on the door I kept dreaming of, I can finally move on, and I’ll forgive you, father.

Forever waiting,

Shafiq Emir,

Your son.


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